Faith in Action

“Morning Carol!

We acknowledge with thanks receipt of your email and wish to inform you that after further consultations with the relevant parties, your proposal was not accepted.

You are therefore called upon to adhere to the contents of the subject letter.

Thanking you.”

There are days I would totally crumble into despair from such news. Rejection, disappointments, bad news-meaning anything outside my plans & desires. I was trying to ‘battle’ a rent increment on short notice to no avail. Sadly, the feedback I received entails parting with an extra 36K a year, still all is well. My provider is on His throne, asking me to trust in Him, daily. I have to admit am struggling with that a lot. I realized it last week when I left Kshs. 950 with the bus conductor on my way town. I hate losing things. I hate throwing away food. I hate to discard oil after deep frying anything. I don’t throw away shoes unless it’s been to the barber maybe twice, I bet more. I can adjust a dress i don’t fancy into a skirt, use the extra piece as a rag and if I don’t like the skirt I will use it as a house chore attire and later exchange it with a basin!!! (malimali) or pass it down. My dad instilled this in me, we never wasted anything growing up and it taught me the value of saving (am an expert) and being resourceful.

I was standing next to the bus terminal hoping I could trace the bus or the conductor. There are 90 similar buses which are all owned by a SACCO so the management asked me to be patient until I spotted my target. I did this for an hour, close to two and I must have processed 10, 000 thoughts or so. As I was waiting to find this needle in a haystack, I prayed that God would send this guy right in front of me. I saw this conductor who was embedded in my memory and rushed straight to him, almost stumbled, asked him to show me the bus he was working with. It wasn’t the one I had boarded in the morning but I thought I nailed it with this guy, who turned out to be really nice as he displayed all the money he had on him. He did his maths according to the hours he had worked for the day. He had nothing extra on him. I gave up, went home and took a nap. Later in the evening we receive this rent review notice which is effective almost immediately. E with pressure from work, me having had a bad day, Nate screaming for God knows what, for a moment the house became a battlefield.

God & sense
My current read – So far the best christian book i have ever read. I try, so many times to figure God out & when am done am right back where i started. Get it on pdf it’s a must read.

Am mostly aware when am headed down the road of despair and I stop right there. I have treaded that path so many times, I know the results too well. I have no desire to engage in pity parties dancing to the ‘I wish’ tunes. I know the bottom line. God is good and trustworthy. My circumstances don’t change who He is. On second thought He was right there when I jumped outside the bus in a hurry, off the stage (at traffic hour) and forgot my change. He knew the timing of receiving the review notice was uncalled for. He knows we are emotional beings and we get overwhelmed in such moments. How does He respond ‘my grace is sufficient and I know everything as it unfolds.’

I still have one more year of school, Nate is starting school next year. We are under His care because what He has done for us this year is more than we could have desired or imagined.

Today morning while in prayer, i was reminded to stay focused; to trust & depend on God even when am hurt, afraid & confused, to obey despite negative reception, to endure even in the ugliest storms because there’s a harvest of righteousness at the end of it all, if i do not grumble while at it.

Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:18

On trusting God I need a renewal every day. Such breakdowns give me a clear perspective of where my faith is because it’s easy to get caught up in what I see. It’s no longer faith if it’s seen. If am trusting God with my eternity, I might as well trust Him with my earthly needs.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

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