My thorn in the Flesh #1

So there’s this request I have that God won’t grant me (yet), well He hasn’t for the past two and half years. Instead of grouching I need to know why because I have come to know in the long run if I don’t stop to take the lessons I will be making the same prayer month after month, every single year. #me tryna figure God out, again.

I remember in boarding high school soaking clothes on a weekend and washing them the next. By the time I woke up on a Saturday morning, the girl next to me would be arranging her ironed clothes ready for a new week. I had laundry, tons of assignments and this left no room for studying. There’s a thin line between procrastinating & laziness and I have bordered on the banks endlessly. I certainly didn’t plaster these walls, now am building them all over again, and it’s hard.

One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. Proverbs 18:9.

I woke up today to a full kitchen sink, untidy living room, a cluttered bedroom and oh the bathroom! The house was a mess and this is how I spent my day: Woke up between 5.30 and 6.00 am, made breakfast, started on dishes and halfway through I was starved so I sat down to a mug of tea and boiled corn. I love it soft, salted and peppered with steaming hot tea so that am literally tearing as I eat. Nate had an awful night so I was forfeiting classes today. We had left the hospital some minutes to 11 pm the previous night but he hadn’t improved over the night. The doctor reassured us that the meds were slowly kicking in and sure enough I have seen a glimpse of my messy boy in the course of the day. On the other hand I have missed 2 French classes and that just sucks.

So it hit me at around 3pm, after barely lifting a finger to clear the mess that procrastination is killing me. House work is crazy, so is life. What doesn’t tick is the continuous cycle. The moment am done with dishes, am on the floor, then the cloths, the stove and right back where I started. There’s actually no resting so what would prompt me to worry on such a schedule? The fact that I pile them up, complain about each single task and take ages to do the slightest thing as wiping cabinets & cleaning the refrigerator. Fact remains, no one feels like going to work every day but still show up. It’s not necessarily fun but it’s worth the pay. As I write I’ve got a few dishes I can almost bet I will go to bed without sorting out. Thing is, the moment I didn’t do that (wasn’t intentional about it) a few hours ago when I was still in the kitchen contributed to this outcome. I first sit down for analysis, after a few hours the thought of everything that needs to be done has already taken its toll on me. I know why people rattle on the submission and ‘women shouldering house duties’ topic. It’s plain hard but not impossible. We have enough grace and ability to do it all: we just have to learn, plan and engage. The whole balance idea doesn’t work and the sooner this is clear the better. Help comes in handy and it’s highly needed, nagging for it on the other hand is another mess I end up cleaning later. It’s not worth the lack of peace in my home.

In approaches to learning, Law of Polarity states that habits continue forming in the direction in which they have been started more easily than the opposite. I have got to turn this around if I want my prayer answered soon. If I want a diligent and dependable nanny I’ve got to be one first, in the sense that if I need a thoroughly clean bathroom, a well fed child and a spotless living room, I truly know what it takes.

I have so much respect for women whose sole purpose of the day is to wake up and organize the day for the rest of the family. Sadly and occasionally they are not acknowledged as much; a chocolate bar a day may not be essential, but a thank you gesture will get the ceiling done as well.

Prayer:

Lord, thank you this day, for life and gift of family. Thank you for grace & opportunity to be able to take care of them, for strength to work round the clock. I pray that you renew me every moment am worn out or discouraged. Let me be a vessel of peace in my home as i depend on you to lead & bind us with cords of love that can’t be broken. Enable me to be intentional about chores & refrain from procrastination. I declare that each day will be fruitful and fulfilling. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

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4 thoughts on “My thorn in the Flesh #1

  1. I have the same struggle with house chores. Funny that I see this on a morning I decided “Enough with this laziness!” I almost broke my back today trying to catch up on stuff I should have done a long time ago. I was so proud of myself for a few minutes. Then I figured, I could do with this contentment everyday, and right there I made a decision to make some changes. 🙂 Ecclesiastes 11:4

    Liked by 1 person

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