To stretch my faith I have asked God for all sorts of things. Instead He’s given me insight or should I call it wisdom? Not instantaneously though. He has not put any barriers to our conversations. I have asked; are you kidding me God! Really God! What now God! Oh Ok, this I can’t do on my own! Am trusting you but it’s hard, I wish you knew, I know you know! How long God! The list is endless. Thing is God knows I don’t see the bigger picture, that I am weak & impatient. That in seeking closure I have carried the weight of this world and it has left me empty. He’s also given me time to learn, I have wasted a handful of it but He’s been patient, forgiving and gracious.
Recap on the story of Moses. He’s born when every newborn Hebrew male child is being killed. His mother ends up keeping him because she thinks he’s too cute. Pharaoh’s daughter sees him floating in a basket and unknowingly rescues him to the arms of his birth mother who continues to nurse him. He is later on raised as an Egyptian and kills one of his ‘own’ to defend a Hebrew. He escapes to Midian because his secret has been discovered. He marries and starts a family of His own and one day from the blues God shows up. He recounts the plight of the Israelites to Moses and for a moments he’s like where is this headed then God says ‘Go get them from Pharaoh’. Moses goes through all the reasons why he can’t, and they are pretty valid.
First he needs to do a lot of talking but he stammers ‘Exodus 4:10’. God assures Him that He will help him and teach Him what to say. In my thoughts God could have done away with the stammering. Yes He was going to help him and teach him what to say but it was still going to come out slow and strenuous. Here I learned we don’t need any perfection to do God’s work. To Him our inadequacy doesn’t change His purpose. It gives room for His glory.
Second he was really scared and didn’t know what to do. He pleaded with God to send someone else instead (this angered God: am choosing you and you asking me to go find someone else?). Then God provided Aaron his brother who would speak on His behalf. He had mercy.
Third he fled Egypt because he had committed murder yet God was asking Him to go back. God assured him that those who wanted to harm him were already dead ‘Exodus 4:19’. God looks out for us. He’s got everything figured out even when we don’t.
Forth he had his doubts if anyone would believe he actually spoke with God. He only had a staff at hand which God had him throw on the ground and it turned into a snake. God asked him to pick it by the tail (pick a snake by the tail? Really!) Moses did and it became staff again and was told that’s all he needed to get the Israelites out of Egypt. There was so much God could have provided but he chose a staff which was the only thing Moses had at hand. He anointed it and that was it. Right now am asking God to do the same with what’s in my hand (remember He has plans for each of us); a clueless mind, a tainted past, some brokenness, imperfect words, a handful mama with access to a laptop, internet & opportunity to share His word.
Fifth Moses does not have the full picture. There’s no program and timeline of how long it will take to enter the Promised Land (that is currently inhabited by enemies of Israel). He gets to Egypt and there’s bump after bump. The Israelites first get punished for buying into his idea of getting 3 off days from work to go worship God in the dessert. Moses gets resented for this and complains to God who reminds him of His promises. Eventually it takes plague after plague, lots of heartbreak, patience, trusting, resilience and hard work to get the Israelites out. It doesn’t stop there as they spend 40 years in the desert (out of disobedience quite a number lose their lives) and countless trials as God perfects his chosen people.
Now all we see of God is like a cloudy picture in a mirror. Later we will see Him face to face. We don’t know everything but then we will, just as God completely understands us. 1 Corinthians 13:12.
I don’t understand how God works but over the years I have I learned I don’t need to. What can I do with that knowledge anyway? He says in Isiah 55 that His ways and thoughts are different from ours. We look at people and see brokenness and failure, He sees life and experience that can change a multitude and draw them to Him. Life has a lot of uncertainties and pain. Jesus Himself was not spared from these and we as His servants are not greater than Him our master. It’s through our pain that we understand others’ hurt, reach out to them with love and compassion. God loves us through people.
Let Perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature not lacking anything. James 1:4
Do not let your insecurity or imperfection hold you back for He says:
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness 2nd Corinthians 12:9
Yes I rejoice in my weakness because it humbles me to give room for Christ to take over my life. Your emptiness gives Him the chance to fill you with His goodness.
In ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him ‘Romans 8:28’
Do not look at your past or present circumstances in anger, vent it out to God if need be but give Him a chance to work it out for a good cause.
Don’t give up if it’s taking ages. Learn the season you are in and seek Him for guidance.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11