A glimpse of Heaven!

Sometime in July 2014….

It’s early July morning, not sure what time it is but I can’t find sleep. I think it’s the mosquito buzz that startles me and shortly am fully awake. I still haven’t grasped my morning devotion routine, am avoiding to use the word struggle.

Every time for some reason am awake at this hour I get into the word, longing to hear from God, thankful for His blessings. It’s 4.13am and am reading “morning with Jesus” and Joyce Meyers morning devotionals online. Am utterly blessed as I usually am in God’s presence.

It’s 6.30 am and I feel exhausted. I have to be at work by 9am and decide to take a 50 min nap. Since my childhood, I remember struggling in my sleep occasionally. In this struggle I find it difficult to breathe or move any part of my body. Am completely paralyzed and I long to be lifted up by someone, to be able to breathe again. Somehow after being in this state for a few seconds, almost too long to bear am able to feel my hands and I struggle to get out of bed. I don’t go back to sleep after this incidents. Of course I pray in these moments for God to help me.

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The Foundation

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

We would wake up to the voice of mama praying, singing or both and trace that pillow that had fallen off to cover our heads. We knew what followed and couldn’t find sleep anyway. The moment she stopped it would take her a minute to walk away with our bed covers and no amount of sickness faking left any of us in bed. Never mind that our church went all the way to 5pm so we had to find all means to skip the torture. Mum and dad knew what time each of us walked in. J was always last, she would come in as late as 1 pm. See, it was better late than never because there had to be an emergency to miss church. We had to say who preached and how we felt about the sermon. There were no phones to pass this message across so it was everyone to themselves. Needless to say, Sundays were not entirely peaceful days.

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Welcome to my family

30th Dec 2014. E and I are at Green Hills Hotel in Nyeri planning for 2015. We have some major changes coming in. Full time school, we didn’t know if our nanny would be coming back so we had to have plan B and then the bills. In short we left not speaking to each other and I was having an anxiety attack. I was going from a full time employee to a full time student after 4 years of travelling, fun, learning and ‘chewing’ stress. It was a dream come true and we had done some bit of planning including prayer, certainly not enough to keep me hoping things will fall into place. We came back to Nairobi on 2nd spent 3rd and 4th (my birthday and Nate’s respectively) indoors. Confirmed Esther (former nanny) wasn’t coming back, identified a day care we had previously checked and E travelled home to Kach(western Kenya). That week E was away I picked my class time table, paid tuition fees, organized the house and got worried some more.

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Would you rather learn or get it by chance?

Lessons from my Sigmund Freud nightmare!

I had a miserable night when I failed to reproduce what I knew because I was torn between 2 conflicting thoughts in an exam. I ended up choosing the wrong one and usually one always ends up knowing immediately they leave the exam room. You hear it on the corridor doors as you walk out and you want to hurry out as fast as you can, to activate some defense mechanisms that will see you get over it; the lecturer had a poor illustration I just couldn’t get it right, maybe am the only one who understood the question I mean who sets a straight forward exam. The list goes on. I couldn’t stop at this and ended up studying again for the exam I had already done.

Earlier on.

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